HOW TO MAKE A DIFFICULT DECISION -- Part 1 (Example) The Options and Resolution

Remember my problem?  A decent plea bargain vs. a risky day in court

What Were My Options?

Change, Accept or Let Go?

1.  ACCEPT.  If I accept the plea bargain.

• I don't have to agree with it.
• I don't have to judge it good or bad.
• It is what it is.
• I don't have to fight it or try to stop it.
• It will pass.

 2.  CHANGE:  What can I change?

• Can I change the environment?  No.  I will have to go to court either way.
• Can I change the situation?  No.  I have been charged with a crime.
• Can I change my reaction to the Plea?  yes, with further work in my head.
• How do I make the changes?  DBT Skills
• What resources do I need?  DBT Skills and a willingness from myself.
• When can I do it?  now.

3.  LET GO:  What part of the plea bargain conflict in my head can I let go?

• Is it worth it?  Is it worth the trouble of going to court just to have my say?  Not really.  I still will have to separate myself with this someone who is not good for me.  I can do the three states of mind to reconcile this conflict. 
• Is this something I can leave or let go of, and move on from?  I can do 
• Pros and Cons to figure this out.

 Once again:  "what can I do that will best help me and others in the present situation right now?"

Resolution:  I worked out emotions and facts in the three states of mind.  Then I worked out the Pros and Cons of each option.  My Wise Mind said it wasn't all that important and I can just Let it Go.  For better or worse my decision is:  Take the Plea Bargain.

http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/Options.pdf
http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/WiseMindWorksheet.pdf
http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/Change.pdf